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The Gift of RECEIVING I have a confession to make this holiday season-I love receiving gifts. I believe it is just as fun to receive gifts, as it is to give them. I am sure I stand alone in this greedy little confession, because conventional wisdom says it is better to give than receive. I used to cringe at the thought of revealing this, and I have gone to great lengths on occasion to act as if it were not true. I used to pray daily to receive things, opportunities, or attention, but you would never know it by the way I responded to what came my way. For a long time, whatever I received, whether it was a compliment, a major accomplishment, or an actual item, I would push it away, as if I did not believe that I was worthy of good things, and the truth was that on some level that was exactly how I felt about myself. Here are some examples of my typical response to such answered prayers: "Helen, you look nice in that dress!"..."Oh this old thing, I hate the way it shows my love handles". "I enjoyed the talk you gave last night"....."Oh, I heard myself stutter three times and I left out one of the points I was trying to make". "Mom, you can have my last piece of candy.".... "Oh no, you go ahead and eat it, I don't need it". The first thing that pops out at me is how much I tended to fight the gifts I longed to receive. The second thing is that I say oh way too much. There is only one response necessary to these acts of kindness, and that is to simply say "thank you". This is something that I have successfully taught myself to do. Why is receiving graciously so hard for many of us? Why do we keep pushing away the things that bring us the most joy? The SIMPLE TRUTH is that giving and receiving are both necessary in your life to be truly balanced. Receiving fills the well of wholeness within us. If we only give, the well dries up. Also, if we feel on deeper levels that we are unworthy of our dreams and desires coming true, then we will not attract to us the individuals and opportunities that we say we long for. We must learn to say "I am worth it!" or "I am as deserving as anyone else in the world!" Of course, too much receiving without giving back is unhealthy and leads to a pattern of hoarding energy, which turns into greed and that was one of my silent fears. To be fully present at the moment of receiving feeds not only you, but the giver at the same time. The act of acknowledgement and appreciation for the grandest gift or even the smallest act of kindness fulfills the energy exchange and blesses both individuals. To push away a genuine gift of expressed love, in whatever form, stifles the flow of gifts waiting in line from the universe for you to receive. Practicing being present each day opens us up to all the gifts that life brings, including valuable lessons learned. Being fully present in the moment of receiving and experiencing the union of love that it presents to us is the greatest gift we can give ourselves this year. It is time to free our souls to live a powerfully balanced life. And there is no time like the present. Darshan Beauty invites you to share your most precious experiences of receiving.
posted by Jodi at 10:22 AM
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SURVIVING THE RITE OF MA'AMHOOD It was the week of my fiftieth birthday. I had just started at the new gym that opened near my home. I had recently lost almost ten pounds and was euphoric about my accomplishment and now eager to finish the process of sculpting my body into a Sports Illustrated Cover Girl. I had signed up with a personal trainer and was warming up for my first session. As I moved over to the free weight rack, I saw my trainer, Tony, approaching. Ah, Tony. Tony is probably in his early twenties. He has flawless caramel brown skin, long brown shoulder-length hair that he wears in a pony tail, and deep, penetrating jaguar eyes. As he came closer, he looked like he had just walked out of an "I can't believe it's not butter" commercial and into my life-my apologies here to my wonderful husband. My eyes darted quickly to the mirror to my right. My stomach was sucked in, chest was high, shoulders were back, and my hair was slightly tousled-I'm looking good, I thought to myself, surely, I can pass for thirty-something. As Tony drew near, I turned to select my weights, wanting to impress this young hunky trainer. Tony moved quickly, as he watched me reach for the five-pound dumbbells, and in his sultry voice said the words that every thirty-something longs to hear..."Let me get those for you...MA'AM". I didn't have to look up at the mirror to see my stomach expanding, my chest sliding down to rest on my belly, while my shoulders drooped in silent defeat. I felt the cruel reality sink in. I had become a Ma'am. The rest of the week grew torturous as I was assaulted by grocery clerks and polite children everywhere I went. Did some switch magically go on, on my fiftieth birthday, or have I been floating through my days in a state of denial, I wondered. I began to lay awake at night, chewing my nails, wondering if tomorrow would bring the dreaded AARP membership letter. My life had changed forever, and there was no manual to read up on what Ma'ams do. This experience was an unwelcomed passage into unchartered territory, and I wasn’t sure I would survive-but, you will be happy to know that I did. Not only did I survive the transition, but I came out better, and stronger, and ultimately wiser. The SIMPLE TRUTH is that Ma'amhood is a passage that we all should be grateful for. First, it is a wonderful opportunity to appreciate that we are alive! We have made it farther than many who share life with us. Second, it is an opportunity to look back on the first half of our lives and truly honor our accomplishments and the failures that were experienced that brought us to a wiser way of living. Today's fifties are yesterdays Forties (but maybe not quite the Thirties as I had fantasized about). Medical accomplishments allow us to live longer and more vibrant lifestyles, if we take care of ourselves. The aging process that we tend to fear is a gift that gives us an appreciation for youthfulness that we have mistakenly surmised is about the physical body, but this gift is really about an appreciation for youthful thinking about life. With time, and experiences, and wrinkles, and sagging bodies, comes the knowledge that every moment is precious and life needs to be lived to the fullest. So, as I continue my quest to be the first Sports Illustrated Fifties Cover Girl with my "I can't believe it's not butter" trainer, Tony, I relish the reality that I don't need it anymore to feel good about myself.
posted by Jodi at 6:43 PM
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