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SURVIVING THE RITE OF MA'AMHOOD It was the week of my fiftieth birthday. I had just started at the new gym that opened near my home. I had recently lost almost ten pounds and was euphoric about my accomplishment and now eager to finish the process of sculpting my body into a Sports Illustrated Cover Girl. I had signed up with a personal trainer and was warming up for my first session. As I moved over to the free weight rack, I saw my trainer, Tony, approaching. Ah, Tony. Tony is probably in his early twenties. He has flawless caramel brown skin, long brown shoulder-length hair that he wears in a pony tail, and deep, penetrating jaguar eyes. As he came closer, he looked like he had just walked out of an "I can't believe it's not butter" commercial and into my life-my apologies here to my wonderful husband. My eyes darted quickly to the mirror to my right. My stomach was sucked in, chest was high, shoulders were back, and my hair was slightly tousled-I'm looking good, I thought to myself, surely, I can pass for thirty-something. As Tony drew near, I turned to select my weights, wanting to impress this young hunky trainer. Tony moved quickly, as he watched me reach for the five-pound dumbbells, and in his sultry voice said the words that every thirty-something longs to hear..."Let me get those for you...MA'AM". I didn't have to look up at the mirror to see my stomach expanding, my chest sliding down to rest on my belly, while my shoulders drooped in silent defeat. I felt the cruel reality sink in. I had become a Ma'am. The rest of the week grew torturous as I was assaulted by grocery clerks and polite children everywhere I went. Did some switch magically go on, on my fiftieth birthday, or have I been floating through my days in a state of denial, I wondered. I began to lay awake at night, chewing my nails, wondering if tomorrow would bring the dreaded AARP membership letter. My life had changed forever, and there was no manual to read up on what Ma'ams do. This experience was an unwelcomed passage into unchartered territory, and I wasn’t sure I would survive-but, you will be happy to know that I did. Not only did I survive the transition, but I came out better, and stronger, and ultimately wiser. The SIMPLE TRUTH is that Ma'amhood is a passage that we all should be grateful for. First, it is a wonderful opportunity to appreciate that we are alive! We have made it farther than many who share life with us. Second, it is an opportunity to look back on the first half of our lives and truly honor our accomplishments and the failures that were experienced that brought us to a wiser way of living. Today's fifties are yesterdays Forties (but maybe not quite the Thirties as I had fantasized about). Medical accomplishments allow us to live longer and more vibrant lifestyles, if we take care of ourselves. The aging process that we tend to fear is a gift that gives us an appreciation for youthfulness that we have mistakenly surmised is about the physical body, but this gift is really about an appreciation for youthful thinking about life. With time, and experiences, and wrinkles, and sagging bodies, comes the knowledge that every moment is precious and life needs to be lived to the fullest. So, as I continue my quest to be the first Sports Illustrated Fifties Cover Girl with my "I can't believe it's not butter" trainer, Tony, I relish the reality that I don't need it anymore to feel good about myself.
posted by Jodi at 6:43 PM
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